St. George Getaway!

At the first of April my mom drove my kids and I down to St. George to get a little break from the couch life. We also brought Grandma Murray along and met my sister Trish and her family as well as my brother Robb and his family. So it made for a lovely cousins getaway.

 The fact that I take so many pictures of Pyper is really a problem. I think it's because at this phase she is my right hand little lady. But she just melts me. Like really melts me.

 I couldn't do much walking due to the little bedrest issue but the kids jumped out of the van and ran to touch the temple. It is such a lovely place of peace for us.

 I find bedrest to be best next to the pool while catching some rays. Unfortunately Pyper got sunscreen in her eye and looked like one eyed pete for the afternoon. :(

 Few things are quite as yummy as popsicles with cousins. I think it was like 8:30 in the morning when the popsicles came out. Par-tay!

 This is the result of a successful day. Half naked baby because of playing in rivers and having way too much fun.

We drove out to sparkle mountain and it was so fun to watch the kids digging for crystals. We all had so much fun there.

 Uncle Robb helped Pyper get a special crystal.

The bigger kids went on a hike up leeds canyon so we sat at the splash pad for the afternoon. It was so much fun. These two just played and played.

 Monkey see monkey do!

This. Is. Hard.

This is hard.  Am I allowed to say that? Well today I am. This. Is. Hard. I'm pretty hesitant to ever complain about my circumstance because quite frankly my situation is ideal. If I complained about my kids not eating well, I'd have 3 meals at my door that night. You think I'm joking, right? I'm not. My relief society is incredible. They've offered to clean my toilets weekly, bring me dinners nightly and take my kids on play dates. They're truly spectacular.

 If I told my family I was feeling blue my siblings and in laws would show up with smoothies and a joke book.  My mom has come almost daily to clean up breakfast and drop loads of laundry on the couch next to me to let me fold. So really what reason do I have to complain? If anything I can only see bounteous blessings.
  
   But if I'm 100% truthful I'd say that sometimes I lose my Pollyanna spirit. Last night I curled up to my husband and cried. I simply said, "this is hard babe." Sympathy is not usually is strongest suit but I suppose we are both learning something from this. He hugged me and said, "I know Hun, it is."

   Yesterday I was feeling inadequate as a mother.  I told my boy enthusiastically that he was going to go to a park. His face lit up and he replied, "yes mom but will you be there to watch me?" His face dropped when I said, "not today but another mom will be there". Its tough to not be there for your kids. I miss the ability to cook for them or play outside with them. I've been filled with guilt as family and strangers have had to shoulder the responsibility of dressing, feeding, and entertaining my family. Of course they kindly say that they are happy to help, which I truly believe they are. However, swallowing your pride and being served is harder then I expected.
   
   My husband Mitch has also shouldered much of the burden and without complaint. He's been sweet as after a day of work he goes about the house cleaning before bed. And although I am tremendously grateful for him the guilt is tough.
    Yes the daily boredom is annoying, It really is like ground hog day. Each day the exact same. Yes the anxiety of a difficult pregnancy can be hard, and the thought of doing this for potentially 25 more weeks is haunting. But sitting back and having everything completed for you is guilt riddling.

    You always read in books about maids and servants and think about how nice life would be in that type of culture. But this new perspective has allowed me to be immensely grateful for the ability to parent, provide, and progress on this earth. To have a body for which most of my life has worked flawlessly. Health is a gift. Perhaps one of the ones  I've taken most for granted.
   
    My hope is that one day, i'll look back and read this post and remember that spilled milk is still spilled milk. That the ability to grab a rag and wipe it up is an honor. A walk to the park is more then a walk to the park. It's legs that move, sunshine that kisses, and muscles getting strengthened with each movement.  A messy kitchen means I can provide meals for my family, and a clean and orderly house means I can provide an environment where we can all grow. Life is gift. Living is a blessing. Each day should be counted.

The blessing of bedrest. No need for makeup and lots of snuggle time.