Mitch and I have been so excited to be pregnant this year. Getting pregnant is usually an ordeal for us so when the Clomid worked on our first month we were giving each other a fist bump for ending the 'crazy pill'. We were so excited to announce our new arrival and were even more thrilled when I hit that beloved 12 week mark and and the doctor gave us the green light to tell people that all was well. We announced it to friends and family with this picture.

Upon hitting that 12 week mark I FINALLY was starting to feel good. For some reason this one has made me sicker then ever (I'm blaming it on my old age...29). I was counting my blessing for feeling better and so relieved that I wouldn't be sick forever (I was beginning to think i'd throw up every day for the rest of my life). 3 days after our happy, healthy 12 week appointment I found the energy to change out some of the kids clothes. However, while I was kneeling on the floor folding clothes I felt some bleeding and my heart sank. I whipped the kids into the car and headed to the hospital in tears. My heart was broken. I felt so sad to be losing this baby.
By the time I got to the hospital I had lost a lot of blood and was kinda devastated. My mom and Mitch met me at the ER and my mom took the kids. I was losing so much blood and admittedly panicking that I started passing out in the waiting room. Sweet Mitch made sure they got me back quick and they started me on IV's that made me feel much better however the bleeding continued. If you don't know Mitch, then you may not know that I married an eternal optimist. He is ALWAYS so positive. He kept saying, 'we don't know that we lost the baby' whenever i'd fall into sobs. (DISCLAIMER: I'm not usually a big crier, but this was hard for me. Okay now I feel better about this post.) He continued to remind me of a blessing he gave me a few days earlier saying that the baby and I would deliver fine and be healthy. After having 3 different people come in and tell us that 'this is what happens during a miscarriage' and tell us the next steps in this process I was beginning to feel less hopeful. I could see doubt in Mitch's face too but he remained positive.
The doctor explained that we'll probably just do a quick blood test then proceed with the procedure. I turned to Mitch and told him I really would like to do an ultrasound no matter what the blood test said. It bothered me that I saw a healthy baby days before and now we were in this spot. We explained that to the doctor and he agreed without hesitation. He was a really sweet doctor. When I would tear up Mitch would say, "let's just wait and see, I feel calm".
After watching half a ball game, They wheeled me down to ultrasound. The technician started the ultrasound. He turned the screen toward me and said, "I'm not allowed to say anything but I can show you this screen, this is a baby, this is a heart beat and it looks like it's sucking on its hand as happy as can be. Now I just need to help you figure out where the blood is coming from." After more waiting the sweet doctor came back and told me the baby was fine but I have a tear in my placenta. Possibly next to a vein which is causing so much bleeding. He proceeded to tell us that he usually does not see a baby survive with that much loss of blood. The hope is to keep it from tearing more and this is done through bed rest... And lots of it. The bleeding continued for 9 days while on bedrest then finally stopped. It has been a huge relief to have it stopped.
That night my dad and Mitch gave me another blessing. This time my Dad gave it. In that blessing he repeated almost verbatim what Mitch said about a healthy delivery and healthy baby. He had no idea about Mitch's blessing that he gave me 3 days previous. It was one of those, 'how can I ever doubt this gospel' moments. The Priesthood power on earth is real. God is real. He is aware of us and loves us. He is literally laced into every single aspect of our lives. He is amazing. How grateful I am for that.
The plan for now is bedrest til 20 weeks then have an ultrasound and evaluate at that point. When Mitch said our prayers that night. He said, "thank you Father for trying our faith." He definitely passed and I'm now working on having his faith. When anxiety comes to my mind I re hear the promise of the blessing in my mind. However, I am also reminded that I have to keep my promise and that is doing what the doctors say and stay down.
Let me tell you what, laying in bed is not as glamorous as it looks. And I've found that being served is much harder then serving myself. To be continued...