From Runner to Shuffler... a hard realization.

I had a friend ask if she could stay the night at my house the other night. Naturally, i said of coarse. But before the conversation ended i thought "I should have her bring her running shoes so we can go for a run" then I thought, "nah, she'd probably go too slow". Upon hanging up and looking down at my stomach, a rude awakening came to my mind..."Stacie, your a pregnant woman with a gut! You don't even run anymore! You shuffle down the road! People probably laugh at your sad attempt at exercise as you scoot on by! You are not a runner, YOUR A SHUFFLER!"

A SHUFFLER! THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BECOME! A ROUNDED SHUFFLER WHO NOW HAS A NEED FOR THOSE SILLY SPORTS BRA'S SHE HAS ALWAYS WORN! Lets face it, i barely pick up my feet. I mean, do I even have to move my legs above the knees as i shuffle along (i'll have to check on that). A shuffler, a shuffler, my great aunt June probably shuffles faster as she shuffles to the bathroom!

Upon having this shocking and rather disturbing realization I knew I had to do something! Something to let me know that I am more than a shuffler! So I told Mitchell that my self confidence needed a budget increase and I NEEDED a new pair of Nikes, so that when that fateful day comes that i can no longer see my feet, I can at least know that I have the shoes, and I once had those ripped legs and abs, and that although I have added 15 pds to my physique, that I STACIE WAS ONCE A RUNNER!

So if you see me, and i happen to be running...(cough) shuffling, and you think 'my that's a nice shuffle'. At least I can look you in the eye and say, I may shuffle, but man have I got great running SHOES!

GIRLS CAMP!

We had a wild time at girls camp! The girls were a hoot!

Grow old with you...

I have been working as a speech pathologist intern at a rehab facility for the past couple of months. Beside doing the usual swallowing exams/therapy etc. I have come to learn an important lesson. . . When you grow old it doesn't matter how much money you made, or how many people you know, it's whose sitting beside you when you 80 and terminally ill that really matters.. Let me paint a picture of what i mean. These are some of the observations i have made while visiting these centers...

First a man, probably in his 80's. He watches TV all day in his one man room paid for by his sweet retirement. The only person to visit him are the nurses that give him his meds and the occasional activities commitee coordinator whom he yells out the door.

Then a woman, in her late 50's but looks at least 80. Her lips are weighed down in wrinkles that sink them into a permanant frown. When you talk to her you feel the life drained out of you. You seek to help her but she is rather inconsoleable. You often wonder what her life story and why she is the way she is. You've never seen anyone visit her and you herself are reluctant to walk into her room and let her gloom overwhelm you.

Then another woman, a widow. She doesn't care for T.V. So she sits in her room and looks at the wall for 12 plus hours. When you walk in her face lights up. She is cognitively able and makes good conversation. She's pleasant and kind, and in some strange way she is completly content with life. As you walk out of her room, you carry a small prayer in your heart that someone will come visit her. Her smile is needed in this world.

A woman of 55. She cries as she sits in rehab. Sad and lonely. She's been married for 20 plus years. She has been in the hospital over 3 weeks. Her husband has visited her once. I don't know their story. But right now it's a sad one.

Finally an optimistice woman. She is fragile and kind. She has had a life empty of earthly glory but full of love as she had many children and in turn grandchildren. Her husband sits by her side everyday, all day. He brings in her favorite foods which he knows she can't eat. So he grinds it up for her to aid in her recovery. He speaks of her recovery often and tells her she can do it. The whole experiance weighs on the sweet man, and he seems overwhelmed at times. But he stays. He waits, She waits. It is neither of their ideal situations but over the years the love has been established and they understand their roles. That is, to love each other despite the convienance.

It all makes me wonder what kind of life i will lead. Will i be sad and lonely, or will I be satisfied and loved. I hope it's the latter.

So it's all made me think, What patient will I be?

Mitch loses the bet, we're having a GIRL!!!.

As we walked into the Tanner clinic last week to have our big ultra sound my sweet husband had a confident aire to him. 'A boy for sure he thought'... So, being the wise women that I am, decided to take advantage of the situation and place a light hearted bet. Afterall, it was a 50/50 chance. "Alright Mitchell" I said. "Lets put this out on the table, If it's a boy, I will mow the lawn this week, but if it's a girl you will have to". Let me just clarify, mowing the lawn is not a 'man only' job at our house. In fact, i would say it's a girl dominating chore. Looking back now i can't help but wish i had made the bet for the whole summer! So we sat down in the little room and the nice lady squirted the warm goo onto my stomach, or as my brother Ryan would say....'my new gut'. Seeing that we were both anxious to find out what gender it would be the doctor quickly moved to the babies lower half. "Looks like your having a girl" she announced. I wish i could capture that moment. I don't think my manly husband had really considered the possibilities. He just sat there in a comatose state. It was rather priceless.

Now that reality has set in we are BOTH very excited! But we both admit that we have no idea how to raise a little girl. Needless to say Mitch enjoyed mowing the lawn yesterday and Indy and I enjoyed watching him as we ate our otter pops!

Baby Days

Life has come and gone in a whirl wind this summer! I have one more week of school, my garden is huge and this week Mitch and I both felt the baby kick! It was so fun! I think this was the point Mitch and I looked at each other and said "THIS IS REAL!" I am currently 19 weeks along but we were not able to get an appointment to find out what it is until the end of July! Mitch does not think it will matter as he is sure it's a boy. As for me i'm not sure... I had a dream it was a girl then i had a dream it's a boy... but if i were to look at the last ultrasound i would have guessed it was a lizard. Until then we are keeping our eye out for furniture, and building up the nursery! Here we go!

I'm Pregnant!!!!!!

Our little Miracle: A Trial of our Faith

That's right we are pregnant!!! We saw the 5 cm baby yesterday! How amazing is technology?! Not to mention it's little Heart Beat! Mitch and I were both grinning ear to ear! But getting to this point was not a walk in the park for us...
We have been trying to get pregnant since about last May. In September I went into the gyno to see if he could help the process along. He, in turn, put me on a fertility pill called Clomid. Clomid is a medicine that helps you ovulate. This pill has been known to make you a little crazy, but for me it did not do much. So, after being on it for 3 months my doctor doubled my dose. And of coarse every time i was barely late on my period i took a pregnancy test, and of coarse they were all negative. (Hint: buy them online, we got 30 for 60 cents a piece). Each month i would become a little more frustrated. Anyhow, after 2 months of the "doubled dose" my doctor tripled it..... Note: If you want to become a true, irrational, hormonal woman, get a triple dose of that stuff. All i have to say is, Poor Mitchell. :) I admittedly had a really rough month. This was the month that i told Mitch that i was done trying for a little while. I felt like i had been pushed to my limit, and i was exhausted from the emotional and physical roller coaster of it all. Mitch agreed to taking a break from fertility stuff, but still i felt awful that i wanted to stop trying.
That same month we had some additional testing done, and about a week after we decided to take a break our doctor called with the results. He told us, that based on the testing most people in our situation try artificial insemination but usually end up Adopting. At this point, you would think that news like this would leave me in tears. But upon hearing it i was filled with a comforting spirit that told me that everything will work out and i was completely at peace with what the doctor had said. Then 4 days later, i started to not feel so great. So as a last hope i took another test, and i was pregnant! 5 weeks pregnant!
Because of family history with miscarriages the next two months were filled with quite a bit of anxiety (and Nausea). But yesterday after seeing it's little heart beat, the doctor told us that we are good to go! Every night we thank our Heavenly Father for the blessings he pours upon us. I have truly learned that sometimes we have to hit bottom before He will raise us to the top. We can't wait for Dec 7th!